Epiphany

I finally figured it out. I'm such a genius.

I finally figured out why girls think guys are so confusing and why mixed signals even exist and why it never made sense to me when people say that men are simple creatures.

Because they are. Men are simple creatures. And a guy will tell a girl exactly what he means and what he wants.

The problem?

Girls don't listen.

We as females take what we hear a guy we like tell us and change the meaning and morph it into what we want to hear, even if its a stretch and there are plenty of reasons why he didn't mean what we think he did. HE DIDN'T MEAN WHAT WE THINK HE DID. Girls need to start taking things that guys say at face value. Guys aren't about hidden meanings and encryptions and Morse code. If a guy says the word friends to you, whether he literally says friends or he says something like, I don't know, buddies, then he doesn't want a relationship with you. Friends = friends. So since our regular ol' friends don't take us on dates, kiss us in public (or private really, but I'm just trying to make my point), and call us their girlfriend, that guy doesn't want that with you either.

So thats the problem. And although it may not seem like it, every problem has a solution.

And what, Olivia, might I ask that would be in a situation like this?

Well, I'm glad you asked. I'll tell you what the solution is.

GET OVER IT.

You know what, its not even that big of a deal. Whether you knew the guy for two weeks or two years, getting over it is so much more possible than we girls want it to be. And you know what, thats also our fault. Because we sit there for weeks and weeks, crying about it on the off chance that maybe if we don't change our minds they'll come around. This also won't happen. So the best thing to do is just put your big girl panties on, put a smile on your face, and decide that you're going to be okay. Its all a choice, and the choice, ladies, is yours.

And for any guys reading this post, I hope I hit the nail on the head.

And that, ladies and gents, is my nugget of wisdom for the night.

xoxo

Up, up, up...but to where?

I just don't even know my own life right now.

All this good stuff happening is seriously making me nervous. Is that bad? Good things happen to me and then I wonder when all the bad stuff is going to come crashing down on me. I can only hope that all the bad things are vanishing from above me like the deductibles in the Nationwide commercials. Maybe I have an invisible Bob the discount finder/problem solver around somewhere.

Work was really great today. I mean, I didn't do much, just filled out some paperwork. But I'm just stoked that 1) I got paid $16 to sit around and sign my name, and 2) This job is going to be great. The owner apparently gets people coffee from Port City sometimes, everyone is so nice, and training is going to be extensive enough that I'm going to feel really confident by the time I start actually working the floor.

I'm also starting to finally make some good friends that aren't from home! There are some guys that live two or three houses down from us that are really nice (and one is pretty cute), and the girls that live next to them. They all hang out a lot. Sweta and I met them last Friday night and we've all hung out twice already. I feel like I have friends that I can knock on their door on the weekend or text when I'm free and ask to hang out. They've been really nice about extending the hand of friendship to us, and I'm willingly taking it. They're really cool people. Plus there's a girl in my PE class that I've hung out with a few times this year already as well. We have the exact same sense of humor and she's just the sweetest person. She actually came over tonight and all of my new friends got to know each other, which I don't really know why but is super exciting.

I'm not sure if I talked about this earlier this week, but my class at Insight on Monday was fantastic as well! We've had two classes and I feel like I've learned so much. I'll keep you posted on that.

Also, about that guy I was texting from that class. He stopped texting me. Like I don't know what happened. We had this flirtationship going on, then he just randomly stopped texting me. So I guess that's over? At least nothing happened and we can be friends, because he's a cool guy. But to be completely honest, I wasn't really sure if I was feeling it anyway. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's really attractive. But I just didn't feel that...I don't know, I guess conversations just were kind of awkward sometimes and stuff. There just wasn't that spark.

But now that I think of it, my life actually isn't perfect. I'm dealing with a couple of people that I don't know how to deal with right now. Me and one of my really good friends are in a fight, and I hate when people I care about are upset with me (whether they should be or not). And I'm dealing with issues of someone who is clingy and annoying thats still a really nice person that I hate being standoffish to but I can't bring myself to be friendly to either. That's a complicated one. But I just keep praying to God that I find some way to handle these situations. And I keep praying for these people too, that they find balance and harmony in their lives. That's all I can do.

Buenos noches, chicos y chicas.

xoxo

Quick but Major Update

I HAVE A JOB!!!

I'm so incredibly excited and exhausted I couldn't even provide any kind of build up to it in this post.

Anyway, the massage clinic officially hired me today! I got called in, shadowed the sales associates for about an hour (which didn't include doing a whole heck of a lot because it was, apparently, a slow day), and then the manager hired me!

Ahhhhhhhaldnlakejaw;eoiaslnlkdfmsdfa

Thats a replay of my squealing to my sister Rachal when I called her immediately after leaving the place.

I have my first day on Wednesday, which is going to mainly be filling out paper work and stuff. I'm just so proud of myself. This is the first job I've gotten that I didn't get handed to me. I found the job listing, applied for it, dressed myself for and attended interviews, killed it at interviews, and got hired totally and completely by myself. I guess I'm just...*tear*...growing up!

Anyway, like I said I'm super tired. I had a very emotional day (which includes this news plus three classes at UNCW and Insight tonight which was really riveting today...I'm rambling. Sorry). So its past my bed time!

Wish me luck this week!

xoxo

Literally a bright, sunshiny day

Literally. There is not a cloud in the sky today. But the most amazing thing is that its not swelteringly hot either. The air is starting to change to that criper, cooler autumn air and its absolutely glorious. I've been sitting outside doing homework for over an hour and I havent even broken a sweat. Summer is my favorite season, but this is definitely a welcomed change.

I'm in a much better mood today than I was during my last post, so that is definitely a good thing. I have no clue what was wrong with me the other day.

I went out for the first time this year! This past weekend was fun. I met a lot of new people, got hit on by a ginger, hung out with some new friends that live three houses down from us, and didn't do hardly any homework.

The last part probably isn't something to be proud of, but whatever.

I'm starting to like my life around here a lot. I feel so much more independent than I ever have (even though I still have to have my parents send me money since I don't have a job yet). Speaking of jobs, I haven't heard from the massage clinic yet. The owner said I would get a call either today or tomorrow. I'm getting really antsy.

Okay, enough babbling. Back to reading in the beautiful light of day.

xoxo

Crash

I think today I finally hit the crash from my happy high of the past week or so.

Thing is, I really don't know why.

Earlier today I just felt really sad. Everything made me want to cry. Talking to my mom. Talking to my mom about money (and the fact that I don't have any). Reading a letter my best friend mailed to me. Thinking about how I have no real plans for the weekend. And finally, what broke me, watching a video featuring the song "Marry Me" by Train of an adorable man proposing to a gorgeous girl in the most romantic way. So romantic and wonderful in fact that they both started crying. I had to leave the room and wait for the video to finish because I just couldn't handle it.

I really hate days like this. Nothing happened. I mean, nothing. I was fine this morning, and then I just got sad. But I think this happens to a lot of people (right?? Right?!?), which makes me feel...well not alone at least.

I'm going to try to find something to do tonight to lift my spirits. But if I don't, it might just make me feel worse.

Wish me luck.

xoxo

Bright, Sunshiny Day

My life is on the rise right now.

I mean, sure there are a few glitches here and there, but overall theres a steady increase in the goodness of my life for the past week or so.

I just had my last interview for the massage clinic. It lasted two hours. Yes, I meant to type two hours. But it didn't feel like it. When I was being interviewed by the owner, it almost felt like we were just having a conversation half the time. He was really nice. And he asked for a hug at the end of the interview. Adorbs. I think it went well. I'll hear if I got hired by next Monday or Tuesday. I'm still just praying to God. The manager wants to hire me, but ultimately its up to the owner. And you can come out of an interview feeling like they're going to call you the second you step out of the door and hire you because it went that well, but you never know what the employer is thinking. I do have a really good chance, and I'm feeling optimistic, but I don't want to assume I'm getting hired and be disappointed.

I'm still texting that cute boy from class too. Not much is happening really, but we'll see where that goes. We didn't have class last night like we were supposed to, so I didn't get to see him, but there's still plenty of time.

I'm also really happy because I just ordered a bunch of shirts and a bathing suit from PacSun yesterday! I'm ready for them to get here. I've needed just regular, every day shirts for a while, and PacSun was having a BOGO half off sale yesterday, so I picked out a few and asked my grandma if she'd pay for them now and I'd pay her back later when I got the money. Like I said, I just want them to get here.

Other than that I'm just trying to stay on top of my reading, which is always a good thing and I highly recommend. But since I'm still feeling kind of coma-y from dinner, I'm off to bed.

Stay beautiful!

xoxo