My hell weeks are almost over.
THANK THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN ABOVE HALLELUJAH PRAISE.
I have been so incredibly stressed these past two weeks, but just knowing that its almost over (FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY) makes these last two days bearable.
My performance is tomorrow, then I'm spending however long it takes me in the library to finish the draft of my paper for script analysis (I'm thinking it won't take long), then I'm coming home to nap, then I'm fixing and rehearsing my speech, then I'm catching up on a few shows, then I'm continuing to rehearse my speech, then I'm going OUTTTT since I didn't tonight, then it'll be time to go to sleep and it'll be Friday, then I'm giving my speech and turning in my paper, then I have an interview, then FINALLY I have a massage at four and my weekend of fun begins!! I'm literally doing nothing this weekend except for sleeping, working, and having a crap ton of fun.
This is the philosophy, folks: work hard during the week, play hard during the weekends.
Anyway, Happy Halloween/All Saints Day/All Souls Day/November (HOLY CRAP ITS NOVEMBER).
xoxo
PS. Please pray for my friend (if you do so, if not just send his family good vibes and happy thoughts) as he is struggling for his life and currently, sadly losing the battle.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Its a hard-knock life
So. My life has been falling to shambles. No big deal or anything.
I lost a box of sweaters (which are super expensive and hard to replace), my computer was messed up, yesterday I thought I lost all of my stuff off my old hard drive, I haven't been able to work on any of my homework for a week because my computer has been messed up and even though its fixed now I still don't have Microsoft Office, yesterday I also thought I lost my $50 Halloween costume, and to top it all off one of my best friends pissed at me right now.
I have knots in my shoulders as hard a baseballs, and I'm not sure my finger nails and cuticles are going to survive this hell week.
The good news is that I found my Halloween costume and my sweaters and I'm getting Microsoft Office today so I can start working on my homework. But that still means hours of working and no time to hang out ahead of me, and my friend is going to be mad at me for however long he decides is suitable (which at this point, I'm expecting at least a few days of no talking). I absolutely can't handle when people I care about are mad at me. But there's nothing I can do to fix it honestly, and that's the worst because I literally just have to sit here and wait for him to get over it.
All of this stress is making me so exhausted. I just want to sleep and do nothing else. But that's a bit counterproductive, so I've decided against that. I'm just going to really try to focus on these few assignments I have, ace them all, and maybe by then my life will be in better shape.
But as of this moment, my life kind of sucks.
xoxo
I lost a box of sweaters (which are super expensive and hard to replace), my computer was messed up, yesterday I thought I lost all of my stuff off my old hard drive, I haven't been able to work on any of my homework for a week because my computer has been messed up and even though its fixed now I still don't have Microsoft Office, yesterday I also thought I lost my $50 Halloween costume, and to top it all off one of my best friends pissed at me right now.
I have knots in my shoulders as hard a baseballs, and I'm not sure my finger nails and cuticles are going to survive this hell week.
The good news is that I found my Halloween costume and my sweaters and I'm getting Microsoft Office today so I can start working on my homework. But that still means hours of working and no time to hang out ahead of me, and my friend is going to be mad at me for however long he decides is suitable (which at this point, I'm expecting at least a few days of no talking). I absolutely can't handle when people I care about are mad at me. But there's nothing I can do to fix it honestly, and that's the worst because I literally just have to sit here and wait for him to get over it.
All of this stress is making me so exhausted. I just want to sleep and do nothing else. But that's a bit counterproductive, so I've decided against that. I'm just going to really try to focus on these few assignments I have, ace them all, and maybe by then my life will be in better shape.
But as of this moment, my life kind of sucks.
xoxo
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Anxiety
For the past week or two, I haven't been sleeping very well, I've been chewing my nails and ripping my cuticles to pieces, and I haven't been able to maintain and regular eating pattern. And I'm really not sure why. School has been a little stressful, and I've been trying to get assimilated into the Massage Envy flow, but I don't think those things are the cause of my sudden onset of anxiety.
I've never really been an anxious person. Not consistently anxious anyway. When something big is happening in my life, I tend to get a nervous tummy, but other than that I can't say I deal with anxiety issues. So I'm not sure what's going on.
The only thing I can think of that might account for this is, you guessed it, a boy. That always seems to be the problem.
You know what's stupid? When two people like each other but they're not dating. I won't go into full details, but this boy has been stringing me along for a few weeks, making me think that one day we might be together. And I can't stop thinking about him, even though I've been through this situation before (do you guys remember Bob? If you don't, or you don't know who that is at all, click on his name for the beginning of the long, confusing, cute but ultimately disappointing story that was the beginning of my freshman year). In a nut shell, Bob made me believe we were going to date, so I kept talking to him and hanging out with him only to be rejected. And this situation is similar, except for the fact that I'm also actually really good friends with this guy. Bob and I only had the romantic thing going on, and when that was over so was our friendship. Its not the same in this situation. I'd still have to see him if things didn't work out.
I'm going to think about a name for this guy and get back to you. I might not actually name him at all, because I'm not sure how much I really want to blog about him. It will probably cause a lot of awkwardness in my life. I'm already being really careful about what I'm saying. But I felt the need to blog it out a little, considering I can't focus on my homework because of all my anxiety.
My fingers will probably never be the same at this point. They're so gross right now, but I just can't stop chewing them.
Also, if you're in the mood for a little irony, this is the same boy that inspired my post Epiphany. Ha...ha.
Back to reading I go. Wish me and my poor wittle nails luck...
xoxo
I've never really been an anxious person. Not consistently anxious anyway. When something big is happening in my life, I tend to get a nervous tummy, but other than that I can't say I deal with anxiety issues. So I'm not sure what's going on.
The only thing I can think of that might account for this is, you guessed it, a boy. That always seems to be the problem.
You know what's stupid? When two people like each other but they're not dating. I won't go into full details, but this boy has been stringing me along for a few weeks, making me think that one day we might be together. And I can't stop thinking about him, even though I've been through this situation before (do you guys remember Bob? If you don't, or you don't know who that is at all, click on his name for the beginning of the long, confusing, cute but ultimately disappointing story that was the beginning of my freshman year). In a nut shell, Bob made me believe we were going to date, so I kept talking to him and hanging out with him only to be rejected. And this situation is similar, except for the fact that I'm also actually really good friends with this guy. Bob and I only had the romantic thing going on, and when that was over so was our friendship. Its not the same in this situation. I'd still have to see him if things didn't work out.
I'm going to think about a name for this guy and get back to you. I might not actually name him at all, because I'm not sure how much I really want to blog about him. It will probably cause a lot of awkwardness in my life. I'm already being really careful about what I'm saying. But I felt the need to blog it out a little, considering I can't focus on my homework because of all my anxiety.
My fingers will probably never be the same at this point. They're so gross right now, but I just can't stop chewing them.
Also, if you're in the mood for a little irony, this is the same boy that inspired my post Epiphany. Ha...ha.
Back to reading I go. Wish me and my poor wittle nails luck...
xoxo
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