Anxiety

For the past week or two, I haven't been sleeping very well, I've been chewing my nails and ripping my cuticles to pieces, and I haven't been able to maintain and regular eating pattern. And I'm really not sure why. School has been a little stressful, and I've been trying to get assimilated into the Massage Envy flow, but I don't think those things are the cause of my sudden onset of anxiety.

I've never really been an anxious person. Not consistently anxious anyway. When something big is happening in my life, I tend to get a nervous tummy, but other than that I can't say I deal with anxiety issues. So I'm not sure what's going on.

The only thing I can think of that might account for this is, you guessed it, a boy. That always seems to be the problem.

You know what's stupid? When two people like each other but they're not dating. I won't go into full details, but this boy has been stringing me along for a few weeks, making me think that one day we might be together. And I can't stop thinking about him, even though I've been through this situation before (do you guys remember Bob? If you don't, or you don't know who that is at all, click on his name for the beginning of the long, confusing, cute but ultimately disappointing story that was the beginning of my freshman year). In a nut shell, Bob made me believe we were going to date, so I kept talking to him and hanging out with him only to be rejected. And this situation is similar, except for the fact that I'm also actually really good friends with this guy. Bob and I only had the romantic thing going on, and when that was over so was our friendship. Its not the same in this situation. I'd still have to see him if things didn't work out.

I'm going to think about a name for this guy and get back to you. I might not actually name him at all, because I'm not sure how much I really want to blog about him. It will probably cause a lot of awkwardness in my life. I'm already being really careful about what I'm saying. But I felt the need to blog it out a little, considering I can't focus on my homework because of all my anxiety.

My fingers will probably never be the same at this point. They're so gross right now, but I just can't stop chewing them.

Also, if you're in the mood for a little irony, this is the same boy that inspired my post Epiphany. Ha...ha.

Back to reading I go. Wish me and my poor wittle nails luck...

xoxo